The summer has just whisked past without my knowledge, Bubbly was taking her role seriously in the orphanage and we had more than 9 kids now mostly aged between 3 and half to 5 years old. She spent most of her time hanging around the orphanage and even declared that she would take a break from studying and run the orphanage full time. Maybe if things worked out well, she would also work out means and methods to make it bigger and collect more funds from the neighborhood and have more kids. I thought about it long and hard and gave my consent, mother was happy about this, she said it was a good thing and I spoke to Prakash and told him that Bubbly would be taking care of the place full time. We decided that we devote about Rs. 5000/- as a salary for her and keep the place running. He was supposed to sign a letter to that effect and hand it over to her. That settled and me playing GOD in the whole process I felt good. Now, the home had 6 employees on the pay roll, Bubbly, Geetha, and four aayas. I knew this was worth all the money that we were spending from Sreedevi's savings, Bubbly would make sure that the admission for the kids would be done alright without having to pay a dime and she would get admission in Nirmala Convent where we had studied, and she was the darling of many of the teachers in the school. I knew one thing, Sreedevi Memorial trust as in good hands and there is none better than Bubbly to make it a better place.

When I visited the orphanage, I saw Bubbly sitting on a chair lost in thoughts in the garden, almost unaware that I had moved quite a few strides close to her. She looked at me and offered a smile.

"Whats bothering you my sweetheart?" I asked her and she smiled, this times more out of seeing me than the thoughts that were disturbing her.

"I was wondering if both of them had died, we would have also been growing up like with some strangers, isn't it?" she said her unruly curly hair covering her entire face and her big beautiful eyes filling up with tears, I knew Bubbly was stronger than that and that drop would somehow find its place back from where it came and she fought it back but one of them slid down her left eye above her cheekbone and ran down to her chin like pearls that glittered in the morning sun. I knew it came from way beneath her body and a part of it possibly emitted from her soul, somewhere when our deepest thoughts are found and it hurts from deep within I guess our Soul releases a part of its self through tears. I will never forget this tear drop, she cried with self-pity assuming about a situation that could have changed our lives, somewhere in those tears were also a thankfulness for having protected us from more dangers than these kids who were running around in the garden, looking at life optimistically. I kissed her forehead, most of the times I am lost for words. I just cant say things like the movie stars, express my deepest of emotions a part of me wanted to tell her how thankful we should have been or I wished that our father was alive, but none of them would come out, I wish I knew to express, but I make up for it all the time. I touch people and let them know I am there and let them feel the pulse of my body in that touch.

When I left the orphanage and saw Bubbly sitting in the garden, all by her I felt sad and scared for a moment, wishing that I had all life's answers and I could keep all these people happy, the people who mattered the most to me. Growing up was fun, growing up was having the power of doing the right thing, or what you felt was right, growing up was also about understanding that there is nothing which you can do for the other person, except to love them endlessly unconditionally.

The results were quite pleasing, Preethi and I had cleared all our papers and we were glad about it, Arvind and Sridhar had one paper each which was not too bad, especially after the amount of time that they had spent at the races most of the time during college hours. Somehow, we all felt good we knew we had not made a great impact and we were not scholars of the school, and the time spent at the races were quite a reward. Arvind looked at the class topper and smiled, and said. "I got one paper, remaining and I will finish it next time, look at that dude, he has finished everything and has nothing in his pocket" Sridhar, felt good about it immediately he cheered up and he made a mental note of the money that he had stashed away a good 1 crore plus hiding somewhere in the deep corner of his house without anybody's knowledge, lying there waiting for him to use it after the college was over to set up something that would start to bloom and not a worry in the world. "yeah" I nodded and smiled, but that was not what I wanted to say I wanted to say about how I had used Reena to get to MBR, how I had played ball to get to the money that we were all proud about. For a moment I felt dirty inside and that was a feeling that I could not wash away. Preethi smiled happy that we had both cleared our exams and we were off for a treat, at Dew Drop Inn, I knew there would be a lot to drink, lot to smoke and there were quite a few of us heading that way towards our little oasis on Hunsur Road.

My mother was very proud of me. When I woke up in the morning, she gave me some sweet to eat and gave me a big warm hug, I had cleared all my papers despite having a fractured leg and missing the college for a month or so. Bubbly was very proud of me, I could see her eyes speaking a happy language reflecting the spirit of her heart, a happiness that had died away with my father, today for the first time after years I saw the small twinkle in her eyes reflecting her joy.

"Another couple of years and you don't have to work" I told her and this time it bought tears to her eyes.

I watched the last of the people who came back to the house, after the funeral standing on the terrace of my house, watching the house that looked alive in our little street. He had died in his sleep and had a massive heart attack and just dint wake up in the morning. His wife screamed in agony seeing her partner of 24 years lying there lifeless cold in his bed and she kissed his forehead not knowing what else to do.

My mother and bubbly had been there all day watching over the dead and the alive that were coming in numbers to watch the last remains of their friend, colleague, relative. I had visited the house and looked at him and watched him lie there perfectly still, lost to the world around him, there was a sign of grief on his face or possibly it was just my imagination, or possibly because I had never seen him without a smile in the years that we were neighbors. His smile had a thousand meaning every time I passed Bharathi's house, it would be a nod and a smile and acknowledgement that I had passed in his presence and he was aware of it. The last 10 years I don't remember having ever exchanged a word with him, but he has watched me play cricket in the street, he has watched me ride on the streets lazily on my cycle unable to think of anything else to do to exhaust my energies as a boy.

No words exchanged and still a bond and an absolute comfort with each others presence. I wondered how the both of us had managed all these years. Even when my dad had died I remember he had just patted me on my back and walked away, but I had felt all the sympathy he had needed to convey with his touch and the look on his face. I stand here smoking my joint and wonder why I had never ever spoken to him at all or exchanged pleasantries. I never even knew his name until today I just thought of him as Bharathi's father all the time and that remained. Now Bharathi's father was dead and I would walk down the street and I would not see that familiar smile forever.

I had seen her seated by her father's body at the house, aloof with her back to the wall, her long hair flowing across her face, which she mopped it back on her head with her free hand. There were no tears, no loud wailing, just silence and nobody bothered her. She even offered a weak smile when our eyes locked for a moment. I dint know if I had to approach her and I dint, the house seemed too noisy for me to say anything meaningful. I dint know anything meaningful anybody can say when you visit a house where someone has died. I wonder what you could actually tell them it will all seem so false and rehearsed, if I had one wish I wanted to hug her and give her a shoulder to cry on.

Her mother had cried more than her fair share and every new person walking into the house increased the ferocity of her voice and fresh tears sprang from the unending resources of her eyes. I have never seen her this way; I guess she has never known herself this way as well. She was a petite woman; I remember her walking around the "thulasi" plant in the morning with her hair tied in a bundle with the help of a wet towel that she had possibly used for wiping her hair and offering her prayers to the sun god and for some strange reason the thulasi plant as well. The fragrances of the incense burning in the air and offering anyone who passed their house in the morning a feeling of sacredness. I knew she particularly never liked me in all the time I had been her neighbor, I was the kid who spoilt her siesta, or broke the pots in her little garden while we played cricket. The small dislike for having spoilt her siesta many, many days and for having broken few of her pots, stayed as barriers in her mind to acknowledge my presence in the street, she never smiled at me and I never expected one. Unlike her husband, who always acknowledged me with his smile? I wonder standing here on my terrace, maybe Bharathi's father actually liked me because he had to hear about how I had robbed her off her sleep every after noon during summer vacations or climbing up on her compound wall to pick up the ball.

I watched the evening turn to night as I smoked my joint and thought about "mortality" for the first time, how life could just change over night for all concerned and I thought about my father buried sex feet under, with his unfinished dreams and hopes. I wondered what happened after we died and if there was a heaven or hell. The stars shone brightly in the sky and I looked at the familiar one that Bubbly and me used to watch as children sitting on the terrace saying that it was our father and he came out in the nights to watch over us. I felt a strange loss in spite of having not known him well enough, just like a ray of sun that warms our bodies during winter. Certain that it was "love" and his briefcase had further sanctified and held the belief strongly in my mind, it was love and nothing else, unconditional love you received from parents. I wished I will be a good parent to my kids, when I have one and love them just the way my father loved me as "top priority".

He had twisted and turned in his bed playing with the idea of what the kids had told him about, he spoke about it to his wife at night while they were about to sleep, he told her how the orphanage was being set up and he would be the chairman of the orphanage, how he had grown up on the streets that had made him what he is today, all the blood on his hands, with his father going away with another woman and leaving his mother to take care of the three sisters and himself. How he almost felt like an orphan when he saw all the world enjoying themselves in the nearby park with parents and children running around the place, playing in the swings, how he had envied all of them and while he served them the bhel puris and chats with an elderly gentleman who made a living by selling them to the kids and elders who thronged the park for recreation. How lonely he had felt while pushing the cart all the way home and about the first time he thought beyond the push cart and the bhel puris and stole some money from a neighbor's house. How, he had to rough it out on the streets as he grew up and at last how he had formed his gang and chased each other and the first time he had chopped off the hands of his enemy by grabbing the butchers knife and the blood spilling all over the place. How, he had hated it all first and then slowly realizing the potent power it offered him in the neighborhood.

Many more crimes and chopping off and killing people he had established his place as the uncrowned prince in the surroundings of Vontikoppal a sleepy little suburbs of Mysore. He knew he was the uncrowned prince here, most people approached him with problems, he devised ways and means to eliminate the problem that was bothering them at a price, he ran a good and tight organization and there were men who would lay their lives for him, there were young recruits who were budding threatening to take his place, they had to be silenced either through persuasion or through elimination. The constant jugglery of men, the constant life under threat, he wondered if he could put to an end to all that he had started and return to leave a sane life a life unthreatened by other people, co-existing with people, running business that were legal.

She touched his broad chest and played with his hair and he felt alive and fresh again, it was over a 10 years since they had married and this was possibly the most intimate that he had ever got to her in his thoughts, for the first time in his life he bared not just his body but his mind in her presence and felt relieved. She moved in a little closer and touched his stomach and whispered in his ears.

"you are a good man, you had to do what you had to do" she paused "but now there is a chance to change all that don't let it go waste" he looked at the children lying on the ground his darlings, one girl and a boy 8 year old girl and a 6 year old boy. He got up and picked them up in the middle of the night and hugged them tight in his arms and kissed their foreheads and placed them on the bed besides him and when he kissed his boy a tear drop ran down his cheeks and fell on the boys face like a brilliant diamond shimmering in the small light that came through the window. He got out of the bed and carried his wife to the ground and laid her there, their giggles and whispers becoming uncontrollable as he undressed her and made love to her for the first time not worrying about tomorrow, He made love to her slowly and savored the delight her body offered and heard the soft involuntary moans that she let out as he kissed and fondled her breasts and teased her breasts, years of ramming whores and getting it done was replaced by providing genuine love and lovemaking with his wife, she hugged him closer to her body and allowed him to pound her while her legs circled around his waist. She hugged him closer and tight as he finished off and held his head close to her bosoms afraid all the good thoughts that he had tonight would escape in the morning and he would back to his oldself. She prayed to all the gods in heaven that every night she could speak to him and sleep like this, for the first time in her life, she felt connected to the man that she had married. 10 years of her patience had paid off, she kissed her mangalsutra and clutched his head in her bosoms and slept the sleep that her eluded her for 10 years not knowing whether he really loved her and was his partner or just a mother of his kids.

It cost Prakash a good 20 lakhs to set up the orphanage he managed to bribe everyone concerned to get it organized he paid them rather than threaten them and he was loving every moment of it. He wanted to make this orphanage work and he dint want any of the kids to know that he had spent that amount of money to get this project up and functioning. On the day that he had carried Varun at the inauguration he saw a piece of himself just around the same age he was busy washing the dishes in hotels and bhel puri shops, he promised to himself Varun and kids like him would not have to do that anymore as long as he was alive.

The summer was getting balmy and hot, I took of my shirt and walked inside the house of Iron maiden, where the last 3 months of dust had just settled, Preethi was to meet me with Sridhar in the next 10 minutes. I sat on the porch outside and smoked a joint surveying the landscape around the house, it looked littered with leaves and twigs that had dried up and the whole place looked completely unkempt. I remember how much Iron Maiden had loved her plants and garden. Maybe I should do something about it I thought to myself when Preethi and Sridhar arrived at the gate. I told Preethi to open all the curtains and let some light into the house, while we guys finished off the cigarette and I also asked her to check all the closets and try to get a picture of Iron Maiden if possible. "Sreedevi" she corrected me with a stern look I knew that look, she disapproved me calling her Iron Maiden especially after she had died.. I quickly made it Sreedevi and I made it a point to keep it that way. Sridhar gleefully puffed on the joint and we scanned the garden and agreed to get someone to clean up the whole place. He took his bike and told me he would be back in about 30 minutes with someone to clean the place. I also told him to bring in Geetha if possible I wanted to discuss something important with her and it was really important, Sridhar made a face, which meant he agreed and he rode away from us.

I told Preethi about the plan of how I had decided to run an orphanage from this place and start A Sreedevi Memorial Trust to take care of a few orphans and turn them into good citizens, this would be our summer project and we will get everything working so that this orphanage can be open before the end of summer and we will use the money that Sreedevi had left us to fund the whole thing and if needed I would also put some more money on my own after all there was a huge three bedroom house for shelter as well. She thought about it long and hard and then cried, she hugged and kissed me and cried more holding me close to her and crushing me, "I am so happy that you love me" she said and added "I know for sure you will love me even after I die" she said and cried a little more.

After the house got cleaned up with the help of over 5 guys it was late in the evening. We helped them with all that we could move things around making it look like a pleasant place and somewhere in the afternoon we invited Bubbly to come and join us as well. We had it looking spic and span, just like the way Sreedevi had kept it all the years. A beautiful picture of Sreedevi was sent for enlargement and for framing. We all sat in the garden in the chairs that we had dragged from the dinning room. I had invited Machu Prakash to come and join us and he arrived at around 7 pm. There was absolute silence as he sat in our midst, and I began to explain the plan, he looked at me curiously and I told him that he would be in the Board of directors if he agreed to help me set up the orphanage, since he knew a lot of people in the government departments as well. I gave him a hint of how he could use this to develop as a politician in the days to come. None of the others were impressed with the idea that Prakash would be a part of this team, but after he left I explained to him, that if he takes this project seriously it would be done in the next 2 weeks, we could have the place functioning which possibly would take over 3 months before we even thought about setting this place up and there would be bribes that were to be paid and there would be a lot of red tape. They all nodded in agreement, maybe I told the others, all his sins would possibly get washed out by doing something noble and right for once in his life.

Prakash called me late in the night and told me that he was meeting me in the house at 9 am. I knew what he wanted to discuss and I knew his answer all too well... I was looking forward for this meeting.

I waited for Prakash for a good 10 minutes and this time he spoke to me, no actions with his tongue and no air of authority, just like the Prakash I had known ages ago, when he was a older boy playing cricket with us youngsters, he looked a lot more relaxed and comfortable and he wanted to give this project more than his 100% and he would make sure that it came out well, he had all the connections and the right people, he had even made a mental note on whom to contact, I told him not to involve any politicians and he agreed. He got up and thanked me and gave me a hug, this time the hug was genuine, not because I was making him rich after the monies came rolling in from the races and our manipulations, this time the hug was for relieving him of the tag that he had Built up over the years, if everything went well and according to plan very soon he will be known as just Prakash, just the way they had christened him a long time ago, the Machu would disappear and he would be a free man, using his free will and making a difference to peoples lives. He looked me in the eye before turning away from me and taking the small chit of paper that all of us had written last evening. In his eyes I saw for the first time a ray of brightness, the calculations were all gone, there was just a look of love and hope.

He opened the chit:

Preethi's long hand looked beautiful like Italic keys, she had written it for the third time, making sure that it was perfect and in order.

Sreedevi Memorial Trust

Prakash. M. Gowda President

Mrs. Yeshoda Parakathi Vice President

Ms. Bubbly Parakathi Secretary

Ms. Preethi G. Rao Treasure

Mr. Sridhar. M. Gowda Managing Committee member

Ms. Geetha M. Gowda Managing Committee member

Mr. Arvind. A. Adiga Managing Committee Member

"What about you?" he asked me, this time his tongue moved into the familiar question mark mode.

"That's all of me" I said and smiled and he smiled back with his eyes not his tongue.

Three months after getting our license we had 3 children and 2 aayas to take care of their requirements. We never faced a single problem in getting the authorities to sanction the license required to run the orphanage and the inauguration of the orphanage was done by the principal of our college, someone Sreedevi greatly admired and respected. There were not too many people who attended the inauguration and that was completely okay with all of us, the Star of Mysore a local daily had carried a small article in their page 6 with a picture. Showing Prakash and the principal cutting the ribbon and the first small 3 and half year old boy "Varun" in Prakash's hands. I wondered what people might have thought about it, a notorious man being given a child to look after, there were many politicians who came calling on from the very next day, they all wanted to know why we had not invited them in the first place especially since it had happened in their constituency. Prakash generally handled all of them and told them that they would be welcome to visit us anytime and share the responsibilities. Well, as usual that was their only meeting, just for the records, I made sure that I took a few pictures of them below the board, so that they had a moment of their own under the guises of Sreedevi Memorial Trust, I promised to have it framed and put in the hall ways so that people would know that they were associated with the orphanage, they seemed happy after that and asked us to approach them if we needed help. Prakash, spat hard on the ground after they left, I could understand his disgust.

The college was completely abuzz with the news of Iron maidens death; the campus looked dull and morose not so very with the students who dint know the arts department, the staff were all talking in hush tones and there was a general air that cut out the gaiety of college and its fun, Preethi walked up to me and said that she was "sorry", I looked at her quizzically, "Array, you used to take classes from her, isn't it?" she said and then added. "She used to like you a lot".. She used to look at you with a smile on her face in the class and one day when you were in class writing one of your tests, I could see that she just kept staring at you lovingly for a long, long time" she said, with a tear drop running down her cheek. I thought about it, she had all the reasons to like me a lot; we had spent hour's together learning, eating, taking pictures and making love. I felt a deep sense of loss; it was just a few days back she had asked me to drop into her house and I had postponed that visit for a few days. Something came up all the time, something was more pressing than visiting Iron maiden, something more important, something more urgent, something just not urgent being attended too.. Just nothing but a lack of will to meet her, I thought to myself. I now regretted not visiting her when I was called, maybe there were things that she wanted to talk to me about before she decided to take her life away, maybe there were things that she would have wanted answers for, maybe she wanted her loneliness to end and wanted me to be with her for a few hours before she decided to end it. I felt guilty, shameful as I rode on my bike towards Iron Maidens house to see her for one last time.

There were a few teachers and a few students around her house and Iron maiden was lying down in the garden area, after the post-mortem and a fire in front of the house. There were no relatives weeping, there were no friends just a few students and some college lecturers. The principal said that he had arranged for everything and the body would be cremated in the nearby cemetery at 3 pm and since there was no one in her family that the college knew about especially after her mother had died about 4 years back the college would make sure that she got a decent burial and those of the students who were interested can come by the cemetery by 3 pm. I looked at Iron Maiden she lie there pale and drained of blood, she looked beautiful like the time I had first seen her naked, just that she wasn't alive and pulsating with life. Preethi explained to me that they had found her dead in the bathroom with her wrists slit and she had consumed a lot of sleeping pills as well. I felt my heart sink as I imagined Iron Maiden lying in a pool of blood with her wrists slashed and lying in the bathroom where we had made love.

We proceeded behind the van Iron maiden was kept in and reached the crematorium, a man was reading some sacred text from his book as they lowered the body on to the deck of wood that was to be her funeral pyre, and then everyone looked at each other. The principal would not light the funeral pyre since his parents were alive and he was forbidden to do that, most of the lecturers just gave away their responsibilities and I decided to move ahead and let them know that I would light the pyre as a respect to my teacher and from the corner of my eyes I could see Preethi's silent tears, I took of my shirts like I was asked to and poured a fresh bucket of water on myself and walked towards the funeral pyre, I leaned down and kissed her forehead for the last time and wished her well for the after life. I told her how grateful I was that I met her in life and how sorry I was that I couldn't make it to her house as she had requested. They covered the face and I walked around the funeral pyre and after the third round I let go of the earthen pot and lit her funeral pyre as the flames started to gather around her body I knew that I would really miss her forever, there would be no anecdotes to share or just hang around when things went wrong.

Preethi cried all the way to Iron maidens house, as it was customary to visit the house after the cremation and see a diya burning and then head home. The principal thanked me for doing the last rites for Iron maiden and explained his problem, I just told him it was my duty and also told him that she was very close to me and I used to spend time with her learning from her house for a long time, when I had an accident. He said that GOD works in mysterious ways; maybe the accident was his way of making sure that she got someone to light her fire and someone who she knew well since she had no one else in the way. I see God's plan I had every right to light Iron maidens pyre I was more than a student, lover and a friend to her and I am sure that it was all Gods way of working things out. the only regret though was that I had to go through two months with a fractured leg and the horrible pain, well if that was the pain I had to go through to have come across Iron maiden then I considered myself lucky.

Growing up was fun, depressing and came with a lot of responsibilities, the responsibilities of loving someone as well as the responsibilities of cremating the person who you love. I am glad that I had Iron maiden and iron maiden had me.. I love this game. I love this life...

I slept till noon before the bell rang and the post man woke me up, he handed me a cover a thick square cover, neatly sealed on all sides with brown tape it looked like a book from outside with my name neatly written on top and there was a sender's address which read as "Sreedevi" House No. 2542, III Cross, Gokulam III stage, Mysore. I signed for the cover and walked into the house and wondered what Iron Maiden had sent me that would eventually reach me after her death.

I ripped open the cover and saw a box, the kind of stuff that comes when you buy a branded shirt, neatly pasted with cellophane, on the edges and sealed very patiently. I worked a small key through the cellophane and opened the top of the cover. There was a long note, few pictures, a bond paper, the kind that legal documents were written on and there was three gold chains and a few keys all neatly arranged inside the box, the box was made into compartments, I could imagine Iron maiden as she sat in her bedroom and made this special box with its compartments and writing the letter while she played around the idea of taking her life. Instantly I felt sad and depressed.

I took out the note and read it.

Dear Bipin,

By the time you receive this letter, I would have been gone, I sincerely hope that you would have been the one who lit my funeral pyre and it was not anybody else. Well if you have not been able to I don't hold any grudges, since I dint ask you to do it anyways but somewhere beyond logical reason I know that you would have lit my funeral pyre and would have prayed for my soul to rest in peace and would have shed a few tears for me, especially since there is no one else that I have anymore.

I always regarded you more than just my student possibly because you were more mature and accommodative than most of the men that I met in life and you had the spirit of love that could take me to better heights. Bipin, I must confess that I loved every moment of being with you and I have been in love with you from the day we both started to become more than just teacher student, and then the sudden turn of events and the way we made love, made me realize that I had so much to live for and so much to enjoy, the things that I had missed out because I carried a lot of hatred than love in my heart, My world was turned upside down with one love affair and his absence made me bitter to anyone I came in contact with, it made me sad as a person and made me as everyone in college calls me "Iron maiden". I guess with you I learnt to smile, to love and to enjoy and slowly felt that life was moving better, the love and affection you gave me was wonderful it made me wake up everyday with a smile on my face, knowing that there is something to look forward to.

But, then I also realize that we are from two different generations and there would be nothing more than a few days of sex and love that you can provide. I missed being with you but it felt good waiting for you, sometimes I cried in bed missing you and sometimes I felt angry, however all these feelings were good, since I had something to do other than teaching. I missed the soft kisses you laid on my body and missed the sweet talk you always were so capable of making. I love you and will continue to love you forever.

However, I have lived a life of pain and misery and I have become old, cold and ugly nothing gives me an urge to live anymore. I even sometimes wonder why you came into my life and then I realize that you bought some sort of warmth into me and I am grateful for that. However, I know that this relationship cant last forever and there is no way that I could keep you for myself, these thoughts keep haunting me and everyday I feel like a lonely soul who doesn't deserve to live. I have lived a wasted life and I wasted it all away by being too serious and being too naïve, there is nothing left for me now and that's why I am calling it a day, maybe if there is a second life, I will comeback and be like you taking things as it comes and moving along with life's flow, expecting great things to happen tomorrow and love everyone endlessly and truly with out expecting anything in return. I know a lot more about you than you can think of and I am happy that you were part of my life as well.

I am leaving behind a cheque for Rs. 8, 50,000/- these are my savings from the last 18 years of working in the college, and I have transferred the house and all its belongings in your name. I want you to keep all of these things and start out in life fresh, if you would wish to please sell the house at whatever price you can get and use it to get a start in life.

I thank you for making me feel complete and for loving me so much. 3 of my chains are left there in this box, promise me that you will wear one of them as long as you live in my memory and Bipin a part of me is in those chains close to your heart, don't ever remove it and don't ever loose it, I have another letter that you can show to the principal which explains the inheritance of the house and my other belongings.

Take care of yourself, and when you find the time, please do remember me and pray for my soul to rest in peace.

Love you lots,

Sd/-

Sreedevi.

The next note addressed to the principal was simple and clean without any frills, Iron maiden explained that she was suffering from bouts of depression and she had decided to take this extreme step and her beloved student was to get all her property and other things I also learnt that I would get some more money from her Provident Fund and her insurance as well. A copy of the same was marked to the principal and I realized she had removed the carbon when she wrote the Post script: which was addressed only to the Principal and her lawyer.

I took one of her chains and touched it and looked at the photos that she had given me, the pictures I had taken of her in the sari. I felt my heart beating faster and tears just roll down my cheeks as I saw the photographs of her sitting and posing for me, I cried bitterly wearing the chain that she had given me and took the rest of the stuff and opened my dad's briefcase and placed it there. When the gold chain touched my skin for the first time I felt a shiver run up my spine and somewhere I knew what she meant, a part of her would definitely stay with me forever.

I looked at myself and thought about the money that I was holding in this room along with this new cheque and a house, I was possibly worth a lot more than 6.5 crores, but if it would get Iron Maiden back I would very happily trade it all away.

Growing up was heartbreaking, because it showed up sometimes in many unexpected twists and there was not a single dime that would compensate for the person you loved and cared.

The college was abuzz with the news that I had inherited all of Iron Maidens wealth, some of the people I hardly knew came and gave me a pat in a sympathetic way, some of them just smiled, a sort of smile that acknowledges pain rather than happiness, some of them looked at me as thought I dint deserve the inheritance and why it should not have been them since they were also students in the same college. Some of them who I had spent time with just wanted me to know that they were sorry for the loss. I took Preethi along with me and rode to the temple, I waited outside and asked her to talk to the priest about the rituals after the death of a person, Preethi cried again, something that I was getting used to from yesterday, she cried at almost anything and everything. I knew if I was going to do any sort of "rituals for Iron Maiden I was not supposed to enter the temple. I smoked a joint sitting in front of the temple and Preethi took a good 30 minutes to come back and when she arrived, I saw a teary eyed preethi and a teary eyed priest. I was sure that she had explained the whole thing to him, even narrated how Iron Maiden had slit her wrists.

I was instructed not to shave or cut my hair for the next 41 days, there would be a puja on the 11^th day and followed by a puja on the 41^st the priest would stay with me for the rituals and help me with all the requirements. I came home tired and explained the whole thing to my mother and told her how I had inherited the house and the money that was lying around with me in the form of a cheque, Bubbly started to cry and I could see tears swell up in mother eyes as well. I was so glad that I had these two as my family, none of them wanted to see the cheque or the chain, they cried silent tears and waited for me to continue. I told them details about how she had helped me with my studies after the accident and what a truly inspiring lady she was, I even told her that she was a lonely person and my visit to her house would be one bright spot in her entire day. My mother hugged me and in an instant I burst out crying, this time I was crying the cry of the hurt, on my mothers shoulder knowing that she would not judge me, not accuse me or not pride that I inherited money, she would allow me to cry with her unconditional love.

The 41^st day came way too soon, as I worked through my classes and in the chaos of the exams that were looming over our heads, the portions were being covered up and there was a lot of activities more to do with books than anything else, my beard had grown full scale and I was looking like a zombie who had possibly lost his way on an island without a razor in hand. Preethi dropped by early in the morning and we reached the river cauvery, where the rituals were to be done. I had asked the priest to pick up all the stuff that was required for the rituals and when we arrived he was already seated on the edge of the water and was going about setting up the items. I dipped myself in the cold waters and we continued on for a good one hour or so, doing the many things that he asked me to do, performing rituals that were to make Sreedevi reach the heavens, I prayed along with him repeating holy words from the scriptures seeking the blessings of the Gods to give her a place in heaven and in the recess of my mind I kept telling her that I loved her. We offered food to the crows and for a moment I was surprised as one single crow headed towards the offerings that I had made and pecked at the food, something told me that it was all over as I watched the crow eat the last morsel of rice, that we offered and feeling relieved and satisfied that I had done whatever I could for Iron Maiden to rest in peace we walked away into the open and climbed on our bikes and drove to Preethi's house. I felt drained and tired as I lay next to Preethi in her room in her narrow cot and looked at the ceiling recollecting the moments of sex with Iron Maiden, I don't know if I had loved her then, but for one moment with her right here, right now I could trade away anything that I had. Preethi kissed my lips and we made love, and all through the act I could see Iron Maiden lying there and I pumped Preethi harder and harder. Sex and Death are so interconnected and in those moments of ejaculation I tasted the bliss called death, spilling my semen all over Preethis stomach and felt exhausted and thankful that the whole thing was over and done with.

"I admire your guts", she said as she whispered on the phone, "to shove that little chit inside Bruno's collar, that was too cool"

"Wanted to get to know Bruno's owner" I whispered back. We decided to meet at the Ice zebra and on second thought I decide we will meet some other place, something more special some place more charming and we decided on Southern Star, possibly the most costliest place in this side of town, I knew Lalitha Mahal Palace, however I had never been inside the place and I dint want to take her to a place I had not visited before in unknown surroundings.

"I will be there by 6 she said and hung up" I had over 3 hours before I could shave and make it to the place, I decided to keep my jeans and just change a t-shirt

I reached at 4.30 to meet the waiters at the coffee shop and tell them I was coming with a friend at 6 pm and I needed a table that would overlook the poolside. He quickly put out a reserved sign at the table and assured me that I will get the table and he would personally see to it. I thanked him and gave him a hundred rupees and my name.

She came on the dot at 6, looking fresh as a daisy no make up whatsoever her skin radiating after the shower and a hint of lipstick, her long tossed up hair looked beautiful with the flowery long skirt that she wore, she had beautiful ankles, slim and beautiful and she had a very thin gold chain around her ankle making it look beautiful against her fair skin. I surveyed her and realized she had a gorgeous figure, this was definitely A plus not like any of the girls I had ever met before, this was possibly PERFECT 10 or was I drawing up a conclusion.

The waiter led us to the reserved table and he made it a point to greet me with my name. she was impressed, she had an air of sophistication about her, which I liked, unlike all the other girls I had met, she kept playing with her tossing it from either one side or the other and she spoke quietly, that I had to lean a inch or two in front to listen to her beautiful voice that radiated with a kind of sensuality. She told me about how she would be here for the next couple of months and then head back to her college in Manipal, where she was studying medicine. I thought of her for a moment as a doctor I am sure a lot of men would just go to meet her than get treatment for their ailments. She smiled beautifully showing her pearly white teeth and a small dimple that appeared around her cheeks making her look even lovelier than ever, she told me about Bruno and how she misses him while she is away and I just listened, I was smitten.

I dreamt of her all night after I had dropped her about 2 kms from her home, I thought about her smile, I thought about her dimple, I thought about her ankles with the thin gold chain, I thought about her long legs, her beautiful mane tossed. I thought about her playing with her hair as she spoke to me and about the time that I had dropped her near her home, how her eyes had made contact and the pat on my hand. A moment of sexual pleasure had surged through my body and created a rush of blood to my loins. I thought about that moment of touch, the warmth it spread and stared at the ceiling fully aware that I was feeling horny and was looking forward to meeting her again.

My prayers were answered in just about 5 minutes, my phone vibrated and I picked up the call and we spoke for a good one hour, before agreeing to meet up sometime tomorrow. She would call me and we can go away somewhere quite and peaceful. I said I looked forward to it and hung up and hoped that she would call me very soon.

We drove around in her car for more than 10 kms and away from the city, till we found the lake on Hunsur Road, it was past 6.30 in the evening and the sun was setting in the sky. We parked at the lake very close to the lake and far away from the Road under a tree and we turned off the lights, the night looked eerie and quite by the lake and we sat in silence. I asked her if she wanted to smoke a cigarette and she refused, I don't like cigarettes she said, I don't mind drinking she added. Well that's not something which I usually carried on me, not because I dint like it more because I couldn't. I dint bother to offer a joint knowing it would turn her off. We got outside and surveyed the lake glistening in the moonlight, the ripples being created in the middle of the lake, when fishes jumped moved beneath the calm surface, I always worry about water, every time I see calm waters I think of the deep secrets they hold beneath the surface; skeletons, treasures or whatever comes to my mind and most of the time its never pleasant thoughts more murky and dangerous.

I move an inch or two closer to her and ask her if she was cold, the night air felt pleasant and nice though not cold, she moves a couple of inches and our shoulders touch each other and she says that its cold, I reach out my hand from behind and hug her shoulders and ask her if that was any better and she smiles. The night air gets colder and we are standing and watching the beautiful calm lake in front of us and the moon light reflecting off the surface of the still waters. I ask her if she wants to step inside the car and sit and she opens the back door and we enter the car. In a few minutes we are in each others arms and kissing like the world was ending. I guess standing outside waiting in anticipation and not knowing what to expect had to give away sooner or later for both of us and we kissed deeply passionately and with a lot of lips and tongue. I played with her hair and kissed her earlobes and chin and moved my way down towards her neck dropping butterfly kisses to her neck and chin. Her hands pushed my head further down the neck as she extended her entire neck to my mouth and lips. I kissed and savored the feel of her long neck and kissed her mouth with intensity, I could drink her saliva and give her a few drops of my own and I could feel her getting horny and nice as she sucked my mouth dry and her hands start to feel my chest all over. The car was filled with the odor of sex and juices emitting from her body, her hands went under my t-shirt and caressed my chest near my breast, the classic sign of women asking to be touched there giving you clues.

I resisted the urge of touching her breast and instead led my hand down to her waists and gently massaged her waist, her body felt hot to my touch and I could feel her getting goose flesh all over the area that I had touched her, as she lowered her hands and started to touch my stomach rubbing it slightly at first and creating ripples of sensation run down the length and breadth of my body. Her long finger nails drawing circles on my skin just above my jeans. I kissed her neck and chin further as her back arched and I could feel the first flood of sensation run down her body, tearing through her every nerve ending as she became oblivious to the surrounding around her and her body craved for more intensity and passion to take her to the next level of sexual passion I found the straps of her back in my hand and I undid the small hook that kept her breasts crushed to her body. I massaged her back while my lips started to move down her breasts and add pressure to the top of her breasts she shuddered and this time she let out a soft moan and held my head close to her bosoms. I knew the magic had just begun and she was reaching passionate heights as I lowered my hand and drew circles with my finger nails on her stomach slowly moving towards her chest, her body felt stiff as my fingers moved towards her breast and cupped the bottom of her beautiful breasts they were hard and strong and was beautiful shaped and I could feel her breasts resting on the palm of my hand from end to end, strong, inviting and ready to be pressed and caressed gently.

Her hand reached out to my pants and undid my fly and held my cock in her hand and I knew the moment had come to stop teasing her breasts, by caressing, stroking and pressing them and move on to her pussy. I stroked the insides of her thighs and every moment deliberate and slowly creating ripples of sensation that passed through her very legs and stimulated her clitoris. I rubbed my fingers on her panties dampened by the juices of her sexual stimulated body, gentle at first and then with mounting intensity, that bought her intense pleasure. I lowered her panties and pulled her pubic hair while her hands circled my phallus and gripped it tight, I pulled her pubic hair between her legs and using them as her pleasure zone opened further and her buttocks tightened and her legs spread wider, I pulled out her panties and stroked the middle of her pussy, touching her clits and teasing them with gently touches that were light and teasing, I pull the skin around her clitoris with all my fingers and squeezed them tight and started to twist it in my fingers feeling the base of her pelvic bone, her twisted clits pushed against my hands and her body began to tighten and her arse began to raise a few inches of the seat with her legs on the seat in front. This was the crowing glory of the act and this was her release of pressure and pleasure she had come out with a gigantic and long orgasm. Her voice hoarse and crying with an animalistic pleasure that would ring in my ears all the way back home, which we rode in absolute silence. I dint volunteer talk and there was no point talking now, she would return tomorrow and I would make love to her and today I was conserving semen that would nourish her body for tomorrow. She dropped me right home and blew a kiss and I knew that tomorrow would be a day of rewards for the patience I had showed today. My balls ached and my cock felt marauded as I hit the bed and waited for tomorrow to come. She was the loveliest body I had ever laid my hands on and it was definitely worth the wait.

Every woman will love you and remember you as long as you put the need for satisfying your woman pleasure first, they understand that you care for their pleasure and that you are not looking at just having a good time. It's a give and take and the more you give the more you and the more you give the more they come back to you. sex and love is something that you give as much as possible and take lots more in return, all woman will return to you at the end of the day just because they know that you care..they know when they come to you, you always make sure they feel like royalty and important and every human craves for importance. Its never "I" first with a woman and the day it becomes "I FIRST" you have lost the game.

I went to the usual place to rest at the end of my jog and sat and stretched my legs, I could see Bruno lying in his kennel and once he saw me he waved his tail happily and made his way to the gate, barking to grab my attention, not the kind of bark which was threatening just to get noticed. I looked away and ignored him, this was the game that we were playing every day from the last 2 weeks, I stopped in front of his house and looked at him and whenever he looked towards him I used to turn away and he would continue barking for a while, till I reached out and patted his head and broke back into a run back home. Bruno looked a lot healthier than the day he had the fatal accident, there were still a problem as he walked he limped however his wounds had healed and his shiny coat was getting better. I knew one or two more barks and the girl would appear in the balcony and give me a smile, this was the ritual and I was enjoying it. She came as usual and smiled and I smiled back and our eyes lingered around a few more moments on each other before either one of us turned away. I reached out to Bruno and patted his head and pushed a small piece of paper below his corner knowing fully well that she was watching me and she is seeing the chit of paper. Once I was sure that she had seen me insert the paper below the collar, I broke into a run and ran down the hill towards my house, which was a filled with small houses below the mount with homes that were almost touching each other and some of them even managed to touch each other unlike the villas Bruno and this beautiful girl live in. I knew I had to make it fast home if I had to catch her call, I pushed myself and broke into a brisk pace and reached me as soon as I could. I checked my phone for missed calls and there was none.

SCRIPTING THE FUTURE

The early morning sun kissed my skin and the beautiful warmth of the sun flooded my brains, I have been running from the last 45 minutes at a nice pace and I can feel the legs muscles getting tensed and steady, my t-shirt wet with the morning exertion, I knew this point where I just turned around and made the run back home, however I felt good today and I thought I will extend the run to a further kilometer or so, and create a new turning point, I have been reaching this point consistently from the last 3 weeks, without feeling the heat and adding another kilometer or so would make me feel better. I languidly run towards a new unknown target, the lonely house atop the hill was something I had got familiar with till now, however this time around I wanted to know how much more can I stretch and kept at getting towards that point. I might have just logged in around another 800 meters and I saw the big house just round the corner, just under furlongs away and decided to turn around from there and make my way towards my home. I could feel my muscles in my legs tensing under the constant pace that I had set out each day. I would go and sit by the curb stones for a good 10 minutes and then run back all the way home, my legs were looking for this break, they were possibly used to the comfort of the break that I provided them every day for the last 3 weeks. I made a quick dash towards the house, it looked very beautiful as I got nearer, a typical villa with a lot of garden space in front and the house slightly nestled away from the compound wall, there I imagined the cost of this house, possibly a crore I thought. I could buy it right now I told myself and smiled and sat on the curb stone just outside the house, trying to catch my breath and feel the heat of my body. The warmth was spreading down from the legs and into my whole body as I relaxed and stretched my leg muscles. I was lost in thought about the house and was looking around the nice neighborhood, Vijayanagar was developing into very pristine, broad roads, good houses, I must buy a house somewhere here I thought to myself. I heard the sound of the bike screeching to a halt behind me and then a wild cry and in an instant I turned back to see a dog was hit by a speeding scooter and the rider had just about managed to save himself from falling.

I ran towards the scene of the accident, more as a reflex. The dog look badly hit and was struggling lying down and not making a move, his coat was smeared in blood and the scooterist was looking at him with sympathy. I looked at the dog and thought it would be die any moment from now; I wanted to help him and save him but was not able to think clearly as to what I was supposed to do. He looked like a healthy dog a Labrador with his smooth and shiny coat and a massive head that was strong enough, his eyes were conveying the pain that he was going through and the girl next to him kept, rubbing his head, her long bony fingers must have felt good as he calmed down a little more. I got on my knees to stroke him, his heart was beating wildly. And then she lifted her face, a young girl not more than 20 with large eyes filled with tears looked into me for a moment I knew what was going through her mind, she was giving up on the dog, she dint want to see him possibly suffering like this

"Lets get him someplace where we can get some medical help" I said trying to pick up the dog, she helped me carry him, my arms burdened by his heavy body.

I turned off the phone after reading all the messages, they were the same notes, the same notes on the winning Chawla being the typical sindhi that he is even wrote about the accounts, and how much he owed me, the total that I would make in this deal after all the cuts would be approximately 2.5 crores and that with my 3 crores that was arriving from Arvind and Sridhar, I was good 6.5 crores ahead in the last few months, it took a lot of energy away from me and I felt tired and wasted. I felt empty and lonely, inspite of having all the money that I had hoped for, there were accounts to settle from tomorrow and I would be over and done with. I tried to sleep but very excited and I smoked the last of the joints sitting on the terrace. Maybe I should somehow forget all these people this was more than what I had really hoped for in life. I had to call it quits and focus on my studies and do what it takes to get my degree. I felt robbed and guilty at the end of the day. I should have been happy and ecstatic but I could see the mood swings for a few minutes I felt happy and then there was this fear of the money coming in tomorrow. I dint know of a place to stash all the 6 crores that was going to land up at home by tomorrow evening. I thought I will distribute 50 lakhs to Arvind and Sridhar and also get Sridhar and Geetha to Bangalore sometime in the next year, they could stay there just like she had hoped for and there would be no more racing or their fathers problems in their lives, just like the way Geetha had hoped for. I hit the sack in a few minutes with the joint taking its powers on me I was lost in gentle sleep. I knew what I had to do the next day.

I woke up to the sound of the door bell and Sridhar and Arvind were standing with a couple of suitcases in their hands, not like briefcase, big large suitcases I am sure it was heavy as well. Sridhar looked around the house, and made a face, I knew that sign it meant if anyone was at home and I just invited them inside. We hugged each other this time triumphantly and then they laid out the contents of the box on to my bed for a few moments the piles of money neat bundles of 1000 Rupees and over 400 of them was mesmerizing, we watched it with a sense of pride, joy and satisfaction not knowing the exact words to say we stood there in silence watching it lie on my bed a big heap of it. I counted out 100 bundles and gave away 50 to each of them and we packed the suitcases and headed to the terrace to smoke a joint.

When I told them that I would not be interested in racing anymore and that I have decided to call it quits, they both looked at me with surprise, I knew each of their worth, both of them were worth over a crore each and that would get them to do whatever they wanted as soon as we had finished our studies in the next couple of years. I knew Arvind would make good use of it and make sure he got himself a good future, he was a nice guy and was talented enough to know his own limitations and he would even possibly wait for me to run the next gamble or scheme and make more profits without indulging in this money at the moment, however I am not too sure about Sridhar, he may be back at the race track tomorrow with all the money and wager it out on a horse. I wish I could some how stop him from doing that, but every man has a destiny to fulfill and there is no way in hell that I was going to stop him getting what he deserved.

We all drove down to the cottage while Sridhar and Arvind waited by the pool I met Chawla, Machu and Balu. They were ecstatic on seeing me and congratulated me on the job well done, I just thanked them for being co-operative and for trusting me in the scheme, Chawla handed me the money and told me to work out something for the next season. They knew the Mysore season was coming to an end and there would be nothing left in the trying something now. Machu wanted to know if we could pull off something next week and I laughed. I told them that I was done with this job and would keep them posted if something comes up. Chawla gave me a big hug, I told them that I was going to concentrate on studies and leave the rest till I could work out something big in the next few months.

Machu wanted to know what I would do studying he told me that I was better of studying horses and I was born to do that. I smiled and let him think that it was the most profound thing that he had ever said in his whole life. I told them not to contact me since the exams were approaching and I dint want any distractions. They gave me a sad but empathetic look, and they all wished me luck for the exams. The syndicate of wise men was dismantled and we were going on our own for now. When it lasted it was good fun, three gambles that made all of us multi-millionaires and changed our lives, Chawla removed his gold chain with a "Mathaji" on it and put the heavy chain on my neck, and the rest of them followed I had about 300 grams of gold with Mathaji, hanuman pendant from Machu and a Venkataramana from Balu, it all felt heavy on my shoulders I am sure each of them sighed a relief as 100 gms of constant pressure eased off their shoulders. I knew a good place to keep this three chains, right in my fathers briefcase, he was a big believer in god and destiny and a person who prayed everyday. I guess he love this in his briefcase, maybe these golden gods will keep him company in his little briefcase that he loved so much. I wish he was around, I wish he were not dead. Chawla gave me another hug warm, compassionate, just like the way my father used to hug me when I was a child, engulfing my entire body in his warm and affectionate way.

I got up in the middle of the night, made my way to my mothers room and hugged her tight, just like the way I used to hug her when I was a child and slept like a little child. The last few months was furious and I had set out to achieve a lot and today with no burden on my shoulders I wanted to feel just the way that I would feel when I was a child and what better place than your mothers arm to sleep the sleep of the tired and exhausted.

Pranesh, collected all his things from the small locker provided to jockeys in the race course, he had heard a mouthful from Shekar for bumping him at the start and he had apologized to him. Then for the last time in his career he looked at the vast expanse of the jockey's room the room without any windows, he looked at it and smiled for one last time. He was aging and he was ready for retirement, he had known it all the time, it was time to call its quits, he had never made it beyond a classic win in his entire career, this was the place around 20 years back in Mysore he had rode a winner for MBR, he walked towards the pictures that had derby winners and he was sitting atop the filly, RED BUTTON he looked a lot younger and MBR was lean and handsome in his suit, the picture had almost faded from his memory, though he had many number of paper clippings in his scrap book. He smiled at the picture and silently wept, this was it, it was all over, there would be no more pleasure of mounting a horse and braving the odds and feeling the wind on his face, he would have to gracefully accept the life of dullness and brooding away in Mysore. He wished he had something to do maybe he could go and take up a training some horses, but after what had happened today not many people would be in support and give him a horse to train. Maybe MBR would offer him something to do, he had discussed this scheme with his wife last night and all she had to say was to be extremely careful, she had kissed him softly and held him close to her bosoms and early in the morning they had made love, like the way they had love in the younger days, making love with the first rays of sun, not passionately but in a melancholic way, somewhere the fear that if something happened to him was predominantly in her mind and she had been gentle and nice to him, giving him pleasures that they had never felt in a long time. A rush of blood to their head and loins, they made love as if to wish each other the best or in a way to savor this moment.

He walked out into the courtyard with his duffel bag and there she was standing in near their beaten up car, she looked very beautiful in her green sari and her forehead with sindoor, she looked visibly happy on seeing him and his heart forgot about all his trouble of not returning to the jockeys room anymore and he hugged her. As they drove into the sunset both of them feeling ecstatic and a good 50 lakhs in their heads and minds they knew they dint have to do much anymore, they had bought a farm far away on the outskirts of the city and they would just about need this money as insurance for their old age. At the end of the day, after you have done your duties, all a man needs is good company a few friends and a caring partner who you can spend the rest of your life, and wishing that you have left happy memories for some of the people who matter most. They stopped on the way side and kissed each other like little teenagers would and they cried like soft insane people who knew the value of life and love.