The summer has just whisked past without my knowledge, Bubbly was taking her role seriously in the orphanage and we had more than 9 kids now mostly aged between 3 and half to 5 years old. She spent most of her time hanging around the orphanage and even declared that she would take a break from studying and run the orphanage full time. Maybe if things worked out well, she would also work out means and methods to make it bigger and collect more funds from the neighborhood and have more kids. I thought about it long and hard and gave my consent, mother was happy about this, she said it was a good thing and I spoke to Prakash and told him that Bubbly would be taking care of the place full time. We decided that we devote about Rs. 5000/- as a salary for her and keep the place running. He was supposed to sign a letter to that effect and hand it over to her. That settled and me playing GOD in the whole process I felt good. Now, the home had 6 employees on the pay roll, Bubbly, Geetha, and four aayas. I knew this was worth all the money that we were spending from Sreedevi’s savings, Bubbly would make sure that the admission for the kids would be done alright without having to pay a dime and she would get admission in Nirmala Convent where we had studied, and she was the darling of many of the teachers in the school. I knew one thing, Sreedevi Memorial trust as in good hands and there is none better than Bubbly to make it a better place.

When I visited the orphanage, I saw Bubbly sitting on a chair lost in thoughts in the garden, almost unaware that I had moved quite a few strides close to her. She looked at me and offered a smile.

“Whats bothering you my sweetheart?” I asked her and she smiled, this times more out of seeing me than the thoughts that were disturbing her.

“I was wondering if both of them had died, we would have also been growing up like with some strangers, isn’t it?” she said her unruly curly hair covering her entire face and her big beautiful eyes filling up with tears, I knew Bubbly was stronger than that and that drop would somehow find its place back from where it came and she fought it back but one of them slid down her left eye above her cheekbone and ran down to her chin like pearls that glittered in the morning sun. I knew it came from way beneath her body and a part of it possibly emitted from her soul, somewhere when our deepest thoughts are found and it hurts from deep within I guess our Soul releases a part of its self through tears. I will never forget this tear drop, she cried with self-pity assuming about a situation that could have changed our lives, somewhere in those tears were also a thankfulness for having protected us from more dangers than these kids who were running around in the garden, looking at life optimistically. I kissed her forehead, most of the times I am lost for words. I just cant say things like the movie stars, express my deepest of emotions a part of me wanted to tell her how thankful we should have been or I wished that our father was alive, but none of them would come out, I wish I knew to express, but I make up for it all the time. I touch people and let them know I am there and let them feel the pulse of my body in that touch.

When I left the orphanage and saw Bubbly sitting in the garden, all by her I felt sad and scared for a moment, wishing that I had all life’s answers and I could keep all these people happy, the people who mattered the most to me. Growing up was fun, growing up was having the power of doing the right thing, or what you felt was right, growing up was also about understanding that there is nothing which you can do for the other person, except to love them endlessly unconditionally.

The results were quite pleasing, Preethi and I had cleared all our papers and we were glad about it, Arvind and Sridhar had one paper each which was not too bad, especially after the amount of time that they had spent at the races most of the time during college hours. Somehow, we all felt good we knew we had not made a great impact and we were not scholars of the school, and the time spent at the races were quite a reward. Arvind looked at the class topper and smiled, and said. “I got one paper, remaining and I will finish it next time, look at that dude, he has finished everything and has nothing in his pocket” Sridhar, felt good about it immediately he cheered up and he made a mental note of the money that he had stashed away a good 1 crore plus hiding somewhere in the deep corner of his house without anybody’s knowledge, lying there waiting for him to use it after the college was over to set up something that would start to bloom and not a worry in the world. “yeah” I nodded and smiled, but that was not what I wanted to say I wanted to say about how I had used Reena to get to MBR, how I had played ball to get to the money that we were all proud about. For a moment I felt dirty inside and that was a feeling that I could not wash away. Preethi smiled happy that we had both cleared our exams and we were off for a treat, at Dew Drop Inn, I knew there would be a lot to drink, lot to smoke and there were quite a few of us heading that way towards our little oasis on Hunsur Road.

My mother was very proud of me. When I woke up in the morning, she gave me some sweet to eat and gave me a big warm hug, I had cleared all my papers despite having a fractured leg and missing the college for a month or so. Bubbly was very proud of me, I could see her eyes speaking a happy language reflecting the spirit of her heart, a happiness that had died away with my father, today for the first time after years I saw the small twinkle in her eyes reflecting her joy.

“Another couple of years and you don’t have to work” I told her and this time it bought tears to her eyes.